To understand the benefit of defenselessness it is best to think back to times in which we defended ourselves.  Ask yourself these questions (thinking of a specific event):

• What specifically did you feel you needed to defend?
• How did you defend it (or how did you consider defending it)?
• What, in your eyes, did your defense give you? What was the payoff?

As I think back to the last few times I defended myself - I realize that there was no positive pay off.  In the moment I defended myself I felt like I had to.  I think it was a "getting the last word" kind of thing or just being able to get a word in.  But even immediately after getting my view across - I did not feel better.  I felt angry!  And now that sometime has past I don't feel anger towards the other person.  For me it's over.  But there still was no positive pay off.  Quite the opposite.  

Now imagine the situation never got defensive.  What would that look like?  This is often the hard part.  But to be better prepared to handle situations with out defensiveness in the future it helps to see how we could have handled the past ones.

As I think about it - I think I would have tried to express myself starting with "I feel".

But as I think about one person in general - A very angry person.  I realize that saying anything (even O.K or I'm sorry you feel that way) would just increase their anger.  I think in situations with angry people we need to protect ourselves not defend ourselves.  Cause often trying to communicate with an angry person or trying to defend ourselves often leads to them transferring some of their anger onto us.  

Emotions are powerful.  And I think our best action in situations with angry people is internal prayer.  To ask God first and foremost to protect us from their anger and to keep us at peace.  Then to ask God to help the angry person to find their own peace - but not at the expense of our peace.

Have you ever noticed that that is what an angry persons goal is - to get you to feel the anger to?  Then once your angry - don't they seem kinda of happy and less angry.

A counter intention is thoughts and beliefs that run contrary to your conscious wishes or intentions.

Counter intentions are often unconscious.  But don't worry once you realize that you probably have some they quickly come to the forefront of your conscious mind and can be cleared!

But you must do the work to clear them.  Because when it comes to achieving results like quitting smoking, eating healthy, or creating wealth in your life, etc..  if you have counter intentions they will always win and you will not see the results you desire.

Counter intentions come from doubt, from worry and from fear. We get hints that counter intentions are there when we tune in to those little voices in our heads whose message is discouraging – it says things like “I want to have a flat stomach  - it takes to much work and I don't have time or last time I was skinny men treated disrespectfully or worse,” or “I want to start my own business – it’s too much work and I’ll run out of money or what if I fail?,”  or "I want to have plenty of money to enjoy the freedom that comes with money – If I have more money then I need everybody will bug me for money, and money is the root of all evil, and I'll probably loose the money and be even more of a failure"     ------  you get the idea.

Changing it starts with awareness that you have these limiting counter intentions.  Often the process starts with asking yourself questions about why you are not getting a particular desire.   To do this I recommend you get a sheet of paper and write at the top "I want or my intention is __________"
Below that write "I know I have counter intentions or limiting beliefs standing in my way!  What are they?"  Then just let your mind go.  The mind is a miraculous thing - it will quickly flow from one idea or memory to the next.  It is a sea of patterns all organized with out your conscious effort.  Write down anything the mind comes up with.  

For example:  Say my intention was to stop drinking soda/pop.  I would ask my self what are my counter intentions.  My mind would immediately tell me  "If you do you will... 

1. Be tired from lack of caffeine."  
2. Maybe be irritable - and people may not want to be around you."  
3.  You might get a head ache and who knows how long that will last."
4.  One day in the future you will not get enough sleep and you will need caffeine."

With each new counter intention your mind comes up with ask it a question in regards to that particular counter intention.  Don't forget to write all of this down! - the visual of all the questions and answers on you paper will help you greatly.  Some great questions for counter intentions comes from Byron Katie's The Work. 

1) Is it true?
2) Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought?
5) Turn it around.  

I would also add (when working with counter intentions)  "Even if this is true is it reason enough for me to not to get my intention?" or  "Can I make my intention stronger than my counter intentions?"  The point is to realize the beliefs or fears that are standing in your way and then do what it takes to clear them or at least make them weaker than your intention.

Clearing up counter intentions is work worth doing!  If you want to change your life make sure to take time regularly checking in with yourself with a pen, paper, and some good questions handy.  You may just be surprised by the answers you receive.

I believe no-matter how happy or successful we are in our lives it never hurts to remind ourselves of universal truths, and to continue learning and growing into nicer, more loving, happier and more successful human beings.

Letting go of the past may just be the hardest thing to do.  But at the same time it is detrimental to our present and future to at least attempt to not be only reacting based on a past that no longer exist.   Sometimes in life in order to move forward we most let go of the past.  To start I would recommend doing so in a very physical manner....

So to start on your journey go through your house, your car, and your desk at work and physically release the items that tie you to an undesired past, or that you just have no legitimate use for in the near future.  Make piles to donate, recycle, and just plain throw away some items.  You will find when unneeded reminders to a past that has nothing to do with your present or future is completely removed from your environment you will feel like weight has been lifted of your shoulders.  And you will be more ready to move into your present moment and onto the great future that awaits you.

I'm sure you have heard the proverb "Out of sight, out of mind."  Why not make that simple proverb our reality.  But it is more than just packing things away into a neat organized room out of sight.  Although for some you may want to start there - if you are not ready to actually get rid of the physical items that tie to a past that is no longer benefiting you in your now or could benefit someone else more.  

But what I truly recommend is actually getting rid of the past that is weighing you down.  You maybe asking "why is not just getting it out of your sight good enough?"  The answer lies in the research showing that our sight extends farther then we think it does.  Research shows that our unconscious mind process much more visual and other types of information that our conscious mind does not have access to.  But that doesn't mean that we are not be affected by the unconscious processed information.  

A good example is a study done back in 2005 at Rice University in Houston.  In the study the researcher induced temporary reversible blindness in their volunteers by applying magnetic pulses to the volunteers' visual cortex.  The volunteers were then asked to look at a computer screen and identify whether a horizontal or a vertical line or a red or a green dot flashed on the screen.  Researchers then asked the study participants whether they had seen a horizontal or a vertical line; because their primary visual pathway had been shut down, the participants reported that they saw nothing. However, when forced to guess which line had appeared on their computer screen, the participants gave the correct answer 75 percent of the time. When the participants had to guess whether a red or a green dot had flashed on the screen, they gave the correct answer with 81 percent accuracy.  This high degree of accuracy for both the directional orientation and color tasks was significantly above chance and made it clear that detailed visual information was still being processed unconsciously.

Another example is the phenomenon of "blindsight" that has been reported in patients with brain damage who report not seeing something but correctly identify the shape and location when forced to guess.

The bottom line is our unconscious mind processes all the available information within our immediate environment.  So if you want to move forward in your life you need to get rid of the items in your environment that are tying you to a no longer desired past.  

This is especially good advice for those:  

• who have not yet been able to find a job or occupation that truly suits them.
• who have not found a relationship that suits them perfectly.

Sometimes in our past we have tried things out like: jobs, relationships, etc and because they were not right for us we have quite, or “failed” at them.  Having those reminders of circumstances when we did not achieve the desired results may not help us in our now.  It may cause us to focus so much on not achieving the desired result we can’t with the law of attraction in mind now achieve it under different circumstances.  So why not clear your slate this week and start fresh this week?  

Videos to watch:
4 Videos (about 25mins)

Although I think the definition of the word dream my not come close to what I believe dreams are.  To me the dream world seems very valid as valid or more valid them waking life.  The dream world to me seems more real.  It seems more real to me because it doesn't contain what I would call falsities that "reality" contains.  In the dream world there are no time, no space, no continuity.  

I believe the dream world came before the "real" world.  I believe through I creative world like the dream world we created a world of time, space, and continuity.  To me it seems so evident why this world of time, space and continuity was created.  I can see the strong creative desire that wondered what would happen if we added continuity to our creations and saw them through.   

But what I don't get is what maintains that continuity.  Why after what we'd call millions of years are we still focused here.  Now I don't believe this is the only world in which we are focused but still why are we still here.  I question if our minds are just interpreting things as continuity  but maybe we don't have as much continuity that we think we do.  Maybe we just believe in it so much we see it where it is not.  

One thing I've noticed about the dream world that make continuity almost impossible is that what we call or senses don't seem to connect.  Meaning in the dream world if you take in any data from just one sense like the sense of touch with your eyes closed and then you open your eyes you'll see the two don't connect in a continuous manner.  For example if you close your eyes (in a dream) and grab something and bring it right in front of your face - when you open your eyes there will be nothing in your hands.  The senses our separate creative forces.  That's why things change so rapidly in dreams.  One second a person who you are in the midst of talking to can become someone else.

Another thing I've noticed (and this maybe just my thing) Is I cannot turn on a light in a dream.  Its awesome though because its how I know that I am dreaming.  Not once in my close to 30 years of dreaming have I ever been able to turn on a light. Any kind of light.  The light could already be on - but if its not I can't turn it on.

I'm soooo curious to why this is.  It may just be a cue I set up with myself.  Because once you know you are dreaming you have more freedom to really make the best out of your dream.  Limits are removed and you have access to any data you require. 

But there is a catch.  The same creative rules that apply to this world also apply there.  Meaning if you want something, someone, or education you must also believe and expect to get it.  So you have freedom but you still must be a deliberate creator.  So no matter what world you are presently in you are still limited by the laws of creation.  And it is the similarities between the worlds that will show you with out a doubt those laws.  The laws that exist in all worlds.

Dr. Day's Ten Steps to Fight Cancer 

1. Proper nutrition - explains what the patient should and should not eat. A diet of fruit, grains and vegetables in their most natural state is recommended – 75% is eaten raw – and excludes all meat, poultry, fish, dairy products, eggs, sugar and refined foods. Elimination of stimulants includes sugar, tobacco, alcohol, street drugs, drug medications, monosodium glutamate, aspartame and other sugar substitutes, and caffeine (which dehydrates the body). When Day was sick, in addition to her vegan vegetarian diet of 3 meals a day, she drank 8 glasses of freshly made carrot juice, 4 glasses of fresh green leafy vegetable juice and 1 glass of fresh orange juice.

2. Exercise - we must do exercise which we could enjoy.

3. Drink water - the body needs water to transport nutrients to healthy cells and to excrete toxins. There should be a minimum of 10-12 glasses per day. (We lose 10 glasses of water from our body every day, just by living - it is imperative to replace the water losses).

4. Sunlight exposure - we need sunlight in order to boost our immune system. An hour a day is recommended in the early morning. (Proper nutrition protects against skin cancer, and sunlight is claimed to actually decrease the size of internal cancerous tumors).

5. Temperance - we should avoid our unhealthy habits.

6. Fresh air - we need a fresh air environment because cancer grows faster when a person breathes uncirculated indoor air.

7. Proper rest at proper time - we have to rest at a proper time as this makes our immune system stronger.

8. Stress relief - we have to be relaxed especially after stressful work.

9. Attitude of gratitude - think positive and be happy in order to be healed effectively.

10. Spiritual benevolence - do what is good not only to ourselves but also to others.

I  really believe that this happened to her because of an internal shift in her vibration.  And once she made the shift it happened so fast.  But I must say I don't think she meant to shift her vibration in the area of romance.  She worked on other areas of her life and that work made all the difference in this area.

I makes me believe people really can change their life's.  That they really can have the life they desire!  And she's living it now! That's the best part - she's not focused on the future worrying about where this will go.  She's feeling the joy now and is not concerning herself with all the possible future outcomes.  She's not even labeling it.  

For me when something that brings so much joy into the life of one person you are close to I feel like it's a sign for all the people in your world that their joy and excitement will increase.  Also it's a lesson to be in this moment.  To not worry about the future or judge the present with the eyes of the past.  If she was worried about the future of where this is going she would not be having so much fun now.   And that's what success really is - your ability to enjoy life now.  My mother is a success.  And I wish everyone on this earth such success.

As far as monitory your thoughts - we would not recommend attempting a task so big and unnecessary.  Instead we would urge you to listen to what your emotions are telling you about the present moment direction you are heading in.   (read: “Negative” Emotions are Good!!)  God gave every single human being on this planet the most wonderful gift.  Emotions.  Your emotions are so much more than you may have previously thought they were.  They are your direct connection to the non-physical - to God.  They are your first line of communication from the non-physical. Once you understand that communication and connection you open yourself up to other types of communication -like: actual thoughts from non-physical.

We would recommend caring about how you feel.  Since your emotions are your very own internal GPS.  If in this moment you are feeling emotions that feel good to you (like: bliss, happiness, energetic, peace, etc..) then know that God is telling you that you are thinking a thought or heading down a path that will bring you more feelings you would consider good.  If you are feeling emotions that feel badly to you (like: despair, sadness, anger, etc..) then know God is telling you that you are thinking a thought or heading in a direction that will bring you pain and suffering.

Now for the whole "think only positive thoughts."  We would stress to you instead that you do not beat yourself up or put yourself down.  Do know that whatever you focus your attention on grows and manifest in your life.  So try to focus on the positive aspects of your fellow man and the situations you encounter.  But do not beat yourself up if you need to vent about a person or situation.  Sometimes venting can be healthy and release your anger or frustration.  We would always recommend to keep your complaints to a minimum - because we believe you will just get more of whatever you're complaining about.

If ever I personally feel the need to complain about something I try first thinking of all the positive aspects of the person or situation - even if those aspects have nothing to do with me or maybe in the past.  Then I may vent, but then I go back to trying to come up with as long of a list of positive aspects that I can.  Because those are the aspects I would like to attract more of.  It's like a sandwich - any managers or supervisors know that when you need to talk to an employee about something you'd like them to do better you always Sandwich your complaints in the middle of positive aspects of the employee.  The employee is more likely to improve under those circumstances and in the same ways so will your relationships and your life situations if you use the sandwich method on yourself.

Now the big bad scary ego.  Lol.  I would think of your ego as a child.  A child who wants your love and attention.  Not an annoying child - but a child you love and want to give your attention to.  I do not know if you need to "transcend" or "rise above" your ego.  For me I have noticed that my ego moves with me.  Like a cats tail.  I would not chase it - I would instead just let it follow me and offer it my love and appreciation for moving in the direction I am.

The ego is no more solid than any thing else in this Universe.  It is always moving and changing (transforming itself) to meet you.  If you want to be a nicer more loving person make nicer, and more loving decisions through out your day.  And notice that your ego will follow your direction.  There is no need to be scared of it or try to get rid of it.  It is a part of you.  Love it.  Love you.

So I think the conclusion to all this is - Care about how you feel and follow those good feeling thoughts and actions.

Even though I’m not religious I do LOVE God. I LOVE God! I can’t help but to Love God as I look around my world and see God in all the physical things that surround me from the smallest ant to the tallest tree; in the dirt, the rocks and even the nails in the wall.

But Today as I was walking to check my mail and I was looking up at all the trees along the path I realized that not only does God love but God equally wants to be loved. And loved unconditionally equal to the love we receive from God. I told God “I love you” and I was just in a moment of awe and amazement at the incredible universe we live in.And I felt God’s appreciation for my Love. It was the strongest feeling I have ever felt.And it was as if I could hear the Universe express to me that mankind has forgotten that God – the Universe - has a just as strong craving to feel Love as we do.

We know as human beings we are very focused on finding love – in all its forms. As human beings we have a strong desire to love and to be loved. Not just romantically/sexually but in families, friendships, work relationships, etc. We want people to like us and appreciate us. Sometimes though I think our own desires to be liked and appreciated can foreshadow us recognizing others desires for the same and especially God’s desire for the same.

Philosophers and psychologist tell us that we “crave a feeling of importance.” I believe this is true because I see it in myself and others that I know. But often I think that this craving is so strong in us that we forget that others crave it too. So I include this paragraph to remind you to always share with others how important they really are to you. And sometimes the mere knowledge of this basic human craving can help you to see others from a different light and make a true friendship out of a previous enemy.

In the mist of despair and rock bottom circumstance we can choose to believe that there is a seed of an equal or greater opportunity in our mist.  We don't need to prolong our suffering; we can stop judging things as good or bad and just accept this is the path that will lead us to where we are meant to be.

Even the most multi-sensory among us do not have the power to know the full plan.  So we must trust in all that is and remember even though we can't see the plan it is us who helped choose it.

By saying NO to our current circumstances we are only causing ourselves to feel pain.  This pain is unnecessary.  I believe this is the true definition of sin.  This is how we are "missing the mark".  We sin every time we say No to life and are current life circumstances.  Say YES to all that is. Be grateful now for the future you cannot yet see.  No matter how bad things seem now - know this will lead you to where you are meant to be.  And where you are meant to be cannot be "bad".

Take a moment to remember Christ, Buddha, Gandi and ask yourself what answer they gave life.  Did they say NO or YES to life?

Even the worst of circumstances can lead us straight to the best of circumstance.  A place where what we truly desire lies.  A place of true love, true happiness, and true peace.  But if we say NO we will only suffer unnecessarily on the way.  So say YES TO LIFE!  And be grateful for all your "problems".

As I write this I feel that the word problems may be to weak of a word.  We use it too much to describe the little inconveniences in life.  Know the problems that I speak of are our moments of despair - when we feel like the walls are closing in and we have nowhere to go.  Know in those moments you are not alone and you need not suffer no matter the situation.  Accept all that comes your way as the road you are meant to travel.  And know this too shall pass.

Take a moment to take stock of the problems you had 20 yrs ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago....  Think about the really big ones.  The average one year old screams in despair when they are a little hungry -The average 4 year old suffers when they are told to share - The average 13 year old has to many "problems" to list.  Think back to when you were that age - didn't those problems seem real to you.  Didn't you suffer?  Even to the extent that you now suffer over your current Adult problems.  The only real difference is that you more then likely now suffer in silence as to not draw to much attention to yourself.

When we are faced with new problems we forget about the extent that we felt the last ones.  That’s the funny thing about pain.  It’s fleeting - unlike a fragrance memory or visual memory.

When you look at a two year old who is not getting exactly what the desire do you not see the same suffering you feel?  Probably not - but it's only because you've labeled your problems as bigger, more important.  But ask yourself would a mother of 3 in Somalia with not even a cup of rice say the same thing about your problems.

Looking back at your problems of the past do you see that it is those same problems that got you to who you are today.  And today’s problems WILL get you to where you need to be tomorrow.  You do not know what lies ahead.  So choose to trust.

Our "problems" are the cause of our additions and over indulgence in food, shopping, etc.  If we stop making problems out of our current life situations we wouldn't need to over indulge in substances or things to make us feel happier.  It's such a fleeting happiness.

We don't need those things to feel happy now. All we have to do to feel happy now is realize that we are like a car driving in the darkness and even with our bights on we can't see what's down the road.  If we accept that and trust in the same way as we do when we are driving that we will reach our destination we can be happy Now!


3/20/11